Preparations

Here I go.

I’m about to start my homeless adventure. I have my spot picked out, my tent set up, my plans made … I even have permission from the property manager to stay where I’m going to stay. For the last few days, I haven’t been able to stop thinking back to that first night that I was homeless 17 years ago. Things were quite different then. For one thing, I had no plan. I didn’t have anyplace to go, and very little money, so getting a motel room wasn’t an option. So I drove around until about 10 or 11 o’clock at night until I found a parking lot that was fairly quiet, parked my truck in the shadows, watched to make sure no one was looking, got out, went to the back of the truck, climbed in, and shut the door behind me.

ryder

The place I stayed that night, like many to come, was an old Ryder truck, left over from a failing business. In the back, in the corner, along with various pieces of sound equipment, was a small foam pad about two inches thick for my bed. I lay down and tried to sleep, but my emotions flooded my head. How did you get here? Youre a loser, I told myself. That person was right when they said you would never amount to anything. Youre just a screw-up! And then it hit me: I’d become a Christian several years before—but right then and there I decided that I’d messed up so bad that even God didn’t want anything to do with me. He must really be pissed at me Ive lost my family and everything else. Those were the thoughts that flooded my head as a 36-year-old man lying in the back of a yellow Ryder truck and crying himself to sleep.

Yes, a lot has changed since then. For instance, God and I are back on speaking terms. In fact, I now believe that that night He was right there beside me, crying with me. This time, God is leading me to be homeless for the next two weeks … to open doors for those who really do live on the streets—for John and Steve and Ed and Susan and little Billy … to be a voice for those who don’t have a voice.

Things are very different now, but what I didn’t count on were these emotions I’m feeling that I buried years ago to come flooding back and rattle me so much.

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9 thoughts on “Preparations

  1. Reblogged this on Just Carlo and commented:
    Visit Mannacafeministries.com to help us help others. Please contact your local (Clarksville) city council member and ask them to support a zoning change for a new homeless shelter. ALL of the council members and the Mayor have stated on the record that they care about the citizen’s of our community. It is time for them to prove it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Man of God, thank you for your testimony of the love for others. I have also been homeless an addict and so lost that I had ran through all of the relationships and nowhere to turn. God found me right where I was but didn’t leave me there. I believed in the Lord, and didn’t understand the purpose of my life. This is it, stand strong brother and we will hold your arms up like Moses above the battle. You have wrote that God has told you to do your part and He will be faithful to do his. (Naked in the woods) Our prayers are with you and the City of Clarksville and our leaders. Rules are made to be changed for the good of the whole community.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I admire your courage, and I believe, The Lord will press the hearts of people in high places to see His purpose materialize in our city. Shalom

    Like

  4. I don’t know about that “loser” guy in your past. I see a REAL success. All journeys start with a bumpy road. Your faith and your strength are what carried you, as well as your determination.
    If you had not walked the walk, you would not be the man you are today.
    Your dream will come true, if not in a week, a month, a year or more, it will in God’s time. It WILL happen BECAUSE of your efforts, as well as Vickie’s efforts, her love and support.
    We are behind you and will be to completion!
    God bless you, good luck and, THANK YOU!!!

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  5. I am feeling a sense of anticipation as I read over these posts. And I am praying that the anticipation is just a foretaste of the impact of this two-week witness.

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